Domestic Violence

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence can take different forms, but its goal is always the same: Batterers want to control their domestic partners through fear. They do this by regularly abusing them physically, sexually, psychologically and economically.

Here are some of the forms domestic violence can take:

PHYSICAL ABUSE

Hitting • Slapping • Kicking • Choking • Pushing • Punching • Beating.

VERBAL ABUSE

Constant criticism • Making humiliating remarks • Not responding to what the victim is saying • Mocking • Name-calling • Yelling • Swearing • Interrupting • Changing the subject.

SEXUAL VIOLENCE

Forcing sex on an unwilling partner • Demanding sexual acts that the victim does not want to perform • Degrading treatment.

ISOLATION

Making it hard for the victim to see friends and relatives • Monitoring phone calls • Reading mail • Controlling where the victim goes • Taking the victim’s car keys.

COERCION

Making the victim feel guilty • Pushing the victim into decisions • Sulking • Manipulating children and other family members • Always insisting on being right • Making up impossible “rules” and punishing the victim for breaking them.

HARASSMENT

Following or stalking • Embarrassing the victim in public • Constantly checking up on the victim • Refusing to leave when asked.

ECONOMIC CONTROL

Not paying bills • Refusing to give the victim money • Not letting the victim work • Interfering with the victim’s job • Refusing to work and support the family.

ABUSING TRUST

Lying • Breaking promises • Withholding important information • Being unfaithful • Being overly jealous • Not sharing domestic responsibilities.

THREATS AND INTIMIDATION

Threatening to harm the victim, the children, family members and pets • Using physical size to intimidate • Shouting • Keeping weapons and threatening to use them.

EMOTIONAL WITHHOLDING

Not expressing feelings • Not giving compliments • Not paying attention • Not respecting the victim’s feelings, rights and opinions • Not taking the victim’s concerns seriously.

DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY

Destroying furniture • Punching walls • Throwing things • Breaking dishes.

SELF DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR

Abusing drugs or alcohol • Threatening self-harm or suicide • Driving recklessly • Deliberately doing things that will cause trouble (like telling off the boss).

 


CONTENTS

  • Now is the Time!
  • Where to Turn
  • What is Domestic Violence?
  • Don’t Believe These Domestic Violence Myths
  • Who are the Abusers?
  • Who are the Victims?
  • Breaking the Cycle of Violence
  • How to Help a Friend Who is a Domestic Violence Victim
  • How to Let Your Friends Help You
  • Safety Measures While You’re in an Abusive Relationship
  • Safety After You Have Left the Relationship
  • Your Personal Safety Plan
  • Recommended for Further Reading
  • National Information Centers