#198 - 05/02/09 06:46 PM
Any help pleas
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Kirk
New Member
Registered: 05/02/09
Posts: 1
Loc: Toledo, Ohio
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Hello all, I am new to this sight, and new to telling any one about my problems. Any advice would be welcomed. When I was about 9 my baby sitter introduced me to sex, I had no idea what I was doing or that it was wrong. When I was 10 I was molested a few times by an older male cousin, orally and anal. This happened 3 times at my grand parents home. I never told any one until a few days ago. When I was 3 and up till I was about 9 my father would take me to strip clubs so he would get attention from all the girls. Nothing like a small kid to bring the ladies around. There was always porn mag’s at the house all my life. Ever since I can remember My father would belittle me and my mother, call us filthy names and scream at us, he would tees me, and would always disapprove of every thing I said or did. Now I am 42 and I am addicted to porn and adult sights. It has caust me my wife. I fantasize about sex and tried to convince my wife to full fill these fantasies with me. I would think that if there were a problem sex would make it all better. When my marriage was coming to an end I had not slept for more than 1 or 2 hours a night for about a month. One night I woke up in the middle of having sex with my wife, the next day she informed me that I forced her. I have very little memory of this but I do believe her. I am talking to a counselor and found out I am a porn addict. It can be controlled but will take a long time to get to normal. I guess what I am asking her for is any support or advice of any kind that might help. I am now alone, and just sit and think all day.
Edited by Kirk (05/02/09 07:18 PM)
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#281 - 03/24/10 07:02 PM
Re: Any help pleas
[Re: Kirk]
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mpartlow
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Registered: 03/24/10
Posts: 2
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I feel you, and fully understand the issue.
I'm 15, and my cousin Christopher came from an abused household where he never met his father and his mother was very sexually active among men. Christopher very well knew how to have sex by the age of around 6 (though I'm sure he didn't know what it really was) and when we were around 6 or 7, he came to my home and there I can remember it ever so clearly. He asked me to have sex with him. I asked what it was, and he said its where you stick your "pee-pee" in each others butt. We did it (nothing extreme, we were just little kids)and also when I was in the 2nd grade, my friend came across pornography and his grandmother didn't care that we watched it. She actually laughed.
All of this sexual exposure at a young age, coupled with me being 15 and all the hormones has made me a masturbation and porn addict imho. Children are very sensitive beings. Children that spend a myriad of hours with parents only become unable to be away from parents. Children that don't spend time from parents don't feel loved. Children that are sexually exposed at a young age developed this issue later on. Children that are hit at a young age become unable to be social. I've experienced a few of these issues and its been terrible.
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#303 - 05/12/10 10:21 AM
Re: Any help pleas
[Re: mpartlow]
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moderator 2
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Registered: 03/20/06
Posts: 13
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mpartlow and Kirk: We hear the pain and the suffering associated with keeping the secret of your addiction, and the incipient destruction to your relationships once the secret is revealed to your loved ones. As you have both laid out in detail, there are many factors from your childhoods that were not your fault - you should never have been exposed to sexually explicit material and adult sexuality at that age.
Owning up that you have a problem that is interfering with your social, academic or occupational functioning is the beginning to your healing. There are various organizations that can offer help: Sex Addicts Anonymous (URL http://www.sexaa.org), Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (URL http://www.sca-recovery.org), Sexual Addiction Resources/ Dr. Patrick Carnes (URL http://www.sexhelp.com) just to list a few. Individual psychotherapy from a licensed mental health practitioner who specializes in sexual compulsivity issues may also be helpful.
We hope that you will find these resources helpful.
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