#282 - 03/25/10 09:51 AM
Please, I need help...
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VoiceofReason13
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Registered: 03/25/10
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My mother abused me my whole life. She also abused my other siblings as well. My mother has ADD, ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, and Conduct Disorder so she was too unstable to handle a job. My dad was always working and he was never home, so he had no idea what was going on. I am now 19 years old and in college. My parents are finally getting a divorce this summer. Im slowly trying to erase her out of my life more and more every day. But heres my problem...I keep having terrible flashbacks. The flashbacks can get so bad that I wont sleep for days. I get depressed a lot but I am a very strong person and that is how I have moved on. Do you guys have any advice on trying to forget these flashbacks? Do you have any stories of child abuse? I want to hear other stories...maybe that will help me cope. Thanks guys.
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#286 - 04/06/10 11:49 AM
Re: Please, I need help...
[Re: VoiceofReason13]
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xjenx
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Registered: 04/06/10
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Flash backs feel scary but they're really not... it's a normal symptom of the abuse you endured. Your brain kind of gets stuck on what happened and anything can trigger it to flash back to the memory of what happened. It doesn't even have to be an actual pictorial memory but can just be the memory of the emotion felt at the time, which can get downright tricky to pinpoint as actually being a flashback and not the way you actually feel about the present situation.
The way I started moving away from flashbacks was not by forgetting them but by paying attention to them. This meant recognizing I was having a flashback and trying to piece together the memory the flashback came from so I could figure out why I was having it and what I could do to resolve the issue it involved. If you want to learn more about managing flashbacks try looking up "flashback therapy" in a search engine and you should pull up some interesting articles on it.
It's important that you employ the help of a therapist when managing flashbacks as they can help you figure out a lot more than you can on your own and they can also help regulate the flow/bring you back so you don't get overwhelmed by your memories.
I hope this helps!
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#289 - 04/12/10 02:06 PM
Re: Please, I need help...
[Re: xjenx]
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Moderator 4
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Thank you, xjenx, for sharing your information and experiences in regards to flashbacks.
Hi VoiceOfReason13,
Congratulations on continuing your education in college! A therapist will be able to help you understand the flashbacks and guide you through all aspects of the past abuse in your family, as well as your parents' divorce. You might also benefit from talking to a therapist about the depression that you've experienced in the past. Your college Student Services office or School of Counseling department are good starting points to find listings of therapists in your neighborhood on or around campus. Also, Yes ICAN has many live facilitated chatrooms where you can talk to other people who have decided to reach out for help and redefine their lives. You are welcome to drop in and listen, or even share your own experiences. Let us know if we can help out again, and thank you for stopping by.
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#290 - 04/13/10 08:13 AM
Re: Please, I need help...
[Re: Moderator 4]
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confused37
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Registered: 03/05/10
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Hi voice of reason,
I ha
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#291 - 04/13/10 08:20 AM
Re: Please, I need help...
[Re: confused37]
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confused37
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I think i got that one wrong (the last posting i meant (i seem to have clicked on a key that i shouldn't have!))... erm... sorry about that! *grins sheepishly*
I read your posting... i thought about what had happened during my own personal lifetime and to tell you the truth i came up with only one thing to say...:
You are 19 now, with a whole life ahead of you... continue with your studies... throw your whole heart into thinking about YOUR future...
I do not know what happened whilst you were younger... BUT as i personally have just discovered, you can and WILL survive... you seem like a strong and hard willed person... keep it up and you will succeed...
You will get where you want to go and i wish you all the best of luck and keep my fingers crossed for you.
Best wishes
Confused37
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